Deer Hunting: Hunting Humor & Whitetail Deer

Archive for the ‘Deer Hunters’ Category

Whitetail Deer gets stuck in House

Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007


Whitetail deer Doorbell Funny Picture, originally uploaded by DeerBeards.

Whitetail Deer Hunters can be a wierd bunch, dressing up like a pumpkin and sitting in the woods at 6 above, but this guy takes the cake.

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Deer Hunting Essentials

Thursday, April 5th, 2007

Deer Hunting

If hunters held a popularity contest for wild animals, the whitetail deer would win every time. Admired for its speed and jumping ability, a deer can run 40 miles per hour and leap over a fence 8 feet tall. Besides their beauty, Deer are also extremely challenging animals to hunt.

Deer move silently through the woods, constantly aware of the hunter’s presence and can disappear from sight in the blink of an eye. Deer are naturally camouflaged and their acute sense of smell is 1000 times more powerful than humans. Even the best hunter can leave the woods after 3 straight weeks, without firing a shot.

Hunting Gear
A few things every hunter needs are deer stand, weapon, waterproof boots, knife, tags, orange clothing, rope and a permit. There are two different types of deer stands, ladder stands, and climbers. Ladder stands are ladders with a platform on top of them chained to a tree. Climber stands are platforms with a seat that may be carried on your back and then placed usually about 4-8 feet off the ground on a tree.Waterproof boots are not essential but they come in very handy, especially since deer do not always fall down where you shoot them and may run for a few miles into the woods. Knives are essential for skinning and field dressing deer. Tags and permits are required to hunt deer legally; they may be purchased from local sporting good stores or your state’s DNR website.

Rope is necessary for dragging your deer after the kill. Adult female white-tailed deer can weigh 145 pounds, males 170. The heaviest whitetail ever recorded in the United States was a 500-pound Minnesota buck.

Hunters and environmentalist alike will agree that deer hunting is an extremely valuable wildlife conservation tool that ensures the biological success of our natural resources, while supporting the nation’s economy.

38 Million Strong, the American Hunter pours $70 billion into the economy annually–with a whopping $179 billion in ripple effect. This makes the American Hunter among the most prominent and inflectional of all demographic groups.

The American Deer Hunter, Men and women from all walks of life, doing what they love, growing the economy, helping conservation and contributing to society.

Top 10 reasons why Wives and Hunting dont Mix

Wednesday, March 21st, 2007

10 Do you have this in pink?
9) Does this make me look fat?
8) Do my nipples show?
7) I’m not touching THAT?
6) You shot Bambi!
5) But they’re so Cute
4) We should call the Kids?
3) Do you have a Blanket?
2) I’m Cold
1) I have to Pee

I hope you enjoy this post as it will most likely be the last one I make as a Married Guy

Americas Deadliest Big Game Animal

Sunday, March 18th, 2007

If I were to ask you what you thought America’s deadliest big game animal was, what would you say? This animal kills or injures more people every year than any other animal. Would you say the grizzly bear or maybe the mountain lion? You would probably be very surprised when I told you that the white-tailed deer not only causes more human deaths and injuries but also causes more damage and destruction than any other big game animal.

Over 120 people are killed in the United States each year in deer-related car crashes, and hundreds more are injured. This far surpasses the few deaths and injuries caused by mountain lions and grizzly bears.

According to the Insurance Information Institute, average cost of damage to each of the 300,000 vehicles involved in collisions with deer each year is over $600, totaling more than $180 million.

Deer cause enormous damage to farm crops and suburban landscaping as well. Biologists studying declining bird populations, including woodcock, believe there is a link to the consumption of habitat by deer.

Another growing problem caused by deer is Lyme disease and two new diseases, Ehrlichiosis and Babesiosis, all three carried by deer ticks. About 14,000 new cases of Lyme disease alone are reported in the United States annually. These tick bites are not just coming from the deep woods but from people’s backyards in their urban neighborhoods.

Sixty-five years ago it would have been laughable to imagine too many deer in North America. There was even concern at that time that they would soon be extinct. Today there are more than 25 million white-tailed deer and 5 million mule deer in the United States, and the populations continue to climb.

The cause of the deer population explosion is multifaceted. Foremost, state conservation departments have for decades been successfully managing deer for hunting by providing the animals with food, cover and protection. Additionally the 65 million people who feed birds in their backyards have also successfully managed deer by unwittingly providing optimum habitat.
Nature has also had a hand in the success. Prior to the 1980s, winter kill was a part of the deer management formula. But the mild winters in the past decade have resulted in very little mortality.

The only effective way to reduce deer populations is to cull them, preferably by hunting. Many conservation departments have dramatically increased their deer permits for both residents and non-residents.

This can help, but more controversial is how to control deer in urban and suburban areas and people’s backyards where public hunting is either not permitted or is impractical. Numerous methods of control have been attempted, from trapping to contraceptives, but except for shooting the deer outright, nothing has proven effective.

Urban deer task forces consisting of cross sections of community interests continue to grapple with the problem of what to do with America’s deadliest and most destructive big game animal

Armadillos are Cute and Taste Great

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

Armadillos are an amazing group of animals that originated in South America. Armadillos are mammals and their closest relatives are sloths and anteaters. Armadillos are built to dig. They have short, strong legs that are well suited to rapid digging, either for food or for shelter. Like their cousins, the sloth and anteater, armadillos have strong claws.

On top of all these amazing facts, Armadillos taste great. There are numerous recipes for Armadillo including Armadillo in Cream Sauce, Armadillo and Rice and of course my favorite

Armadillo Casserole:

Two lbs. armadillo meat
8 ounces of butter
Lemon juice
Dash onion salt
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste
Lemon pepper to taste

Season with salt, pepper, lemon pepper, lemon juice, and rub with butter. Wrap in foil and bake at 325 degrees F. for approximately 45 minutes. Remove foil, add more butter and brown. For barbecued armadillo, baste with barbecue sauce over grill after removing foil

How to survive a Grizzly Bear Attack

Saturday, March 17th, 2007

I was browsing the internet when I came across this amazing site The Traveling Hunter from Anthony Acerrano . This article answers the question “What’s the best way to defend yourself if you run into a grizzly while hunting–or if a grizzly tries to run into you?”

Nearly all authorities on the subject agree that the first two words to memorize in this regard are “pepper spray.” I’m fully aware that some hunters associate pepper spray with politically correct, granola-eating, New Age, tree-hugger crapola. “Just give me my gun,” these guys brag, “and I’ll drop any charging griz like a sack of rocks.”

Other hunters are less fanatical on the subject, but simply have serious (and understandable) doubts about the efficacy of a spray can to stop one of the largest and most dangerous animals in North America. Doesn’t it just make sense that a high-caliber bullet is more potent, and more effective in a life-or-death situation?

It’s a reasonable question, and by no means should hunters dismiss the power and value of their firearms, as we’ll discuss later. But as is so often the case when it comes to bears, the answer is more complex than it might first appear.

Studies by biologist Stephen Herrero and others indicate that pepper spray works on charging bears about 90 to 96 percent of the time. Mark Matheny, a hunter who was seriously mauled by a grizzly several years ago while deer hunting north of Yellowstone Park, and who subsequently began a career devoted to bear self-defense and the manufacture of UDAP pepper spray, explains how a mere blast of cayenne aerosol can stop an angry griz:

“First, with a charging bear the loud hissing and billowing cloud startles them, lessening or turning their aggressive intentions into a state of surprise or even defensive evasion. When a bear hits the wall of fog and breathes it in, his sense of smell is instantly shut down, which confuses any animal. Chemically, pepper spray is an inflammatory agent, an irritant, that gets into the bear’s mucus membranes, causing temporary blindness, choking, and difficulty breathing. In many cases, they go off hacking and coughing.”

For those who believe a gun is still a better bet to stop a bear, Matheny adds:

“Some people think a .44 magnum or large-caliber rifle is going to have the ‘power’ to stop a bear. But you’re talking about a bullet not much wider than a writing pen hitting a vital area. That’s assuming you even get a bullet off. Most times when someone with a firearm is attacked, they don’t get a shot off. You’ve got to get the gun up, aim, and fire. With pepper spray, you can fire right from the holster, putting up a wide stream, even a fog, of deterrent. You can respond instantly and the likelihood of hitting the bear is much greater.”

Another compelling reason for the use of pepper spray instead of bullets is that many grizzly charges are not full “attacks,” but are only attempts by the bear to discourage and intimidate human intruders. For instance, if you surprise a grizzly feeding on an elk carcass (possibly your elk carcass), the bear might charge without intending actual contact, its purpose being to simply drive you away.

Of course, for those who aren’t expert at reading bear behavior, it’s fair to ask, “How am I supposed to know whether the bear means business or is just bluffing?” Which is precisely why pepper spray is a better alternative to a bullet in most situations. With the spray, you can very likely discourage the bear without worsening the situation or elevating it to an irreversibly deadlier level. If the bear breaks through the spray blast, and you’re an armed hunter, you still have your gun as a last resort. But if a sprayed bear veers off, the encounter is over. No one is hurt. Conversely, if your first line of defense is a gunshot, and you shoot at the bear, the results will almost always be more severe. If the bear was only bluffing, you’ve now either killed or wounded a bear unnecessarily. Also possible is that by wounding it you’ve turned a bluffing bear into a seriously enraged one, intent on killing you. Another scenario: You shoot at an attacking bear and–because they come so fast, unbelievably fast if you’ve never experienced it, often catching you in utter surprise–you simply miss. The bear is on you. What you missed with bullets you could have easily hit with deterrent spray.

But aren’t there times when you should shoot, or perhaps must shoot? While pepper spray is generally considered the best primary, first-choice bear defense, you wouldn’t want to make the same mistake as the hunter in Wyoming’s Bridger-Teton National Forest who, when charged by a sow grizzly with three yearling cubs, allegedly threw his high-powered rifle at the bear and pulled out a can of pepper spray, which by that time failed to stop the attack. The hunter was mauled until his partner shot and killed the 475-pound animal. Later, from his hospital bed, the hunter said he didn’t want to shoot the bear because he feared going to jail (for killing an endangered species) and losing his hunting privileges.

The reality is, if a grizzly attacks, sometimes you have to shoot, and, further, you would be foolish not to. That is why I think of pepper spray as “the first line of defense, when feasible.” If there’s no time to hit the spray button (and with the canister mounted pistol-fashion on your belt, you can aim and fire from the hip in mere seconds), or if you spray and the bear keeps coming, you have little choice but to shoot. With a grizzly still far enough away to dissuade, you can try a shot into the air or into the ground near the animal, hoping the muzzle blast or bullet noise will stop or turn the charge. But with a close, fast-incoming bear, don’t waste time with a warning shot. Aim for the deadliest point you can find. On a close-in, charging bear, this will probably be the face or upper chest. Often full-attack grizzlies lower their heads as they come in, so that’s about all you have to aim at. More than one Alaskan guide of my acquaintance suggests aiming for the snout–a high shot goes into the upper skull or even over the top, into the neck or spine; and if the bear hops or you shoot low, you have a chance at the throat, chest, or even a shoulder or leg, all of which can stop the animal, if only long enough for you to aim and shoot again.

Although this is legitimate self-defense, it clearly is not a desirable outcome. That is why Mark Matheny likes to tell hunters, “Spray ‘em, don’t slay ‘em.” He points out that too many close-encounter grizzlies are killed unnecessarily; which is not only bad for the bears, but also for hunting’s already precarious social image. Long-time bear biologist Chris Servheen agrees, calling the unnecessary killing of grizzlies by sportsmen nothing less than “a threat to hunting.”

In the end, the ideal is to protect yourself while sparing the bears, whenever that’s possible. –Anthony Acerrano

Source Sport Afield

Hunting the Rut Deer Hunting gone Mad

Monday, March 5th, 2007

In all my years spent whitetail deer hunting, I have come across some mighty strange things. During the mating season, or Rut as it is called, Whitetail deer go a little nuts. I guess “Nuts” might be a little weak….The Deer Lose their Minds!!

What would Ann Coulter say about this

Methamphetamine and Meth Labs how outdoor enthusiast can Help

Monday, March 5th, 2007

Hunters, Hikers and Nature Lovers are helping local officials in the battle against Meth.

In the past decade, there has been a dramatic increase in the abuse of the drug methamphetamine (meth) in Minnesota. The production of meth in illegal “meth labs” has also been a serious problem for agencies and communities throughout the state.

Minnesota observed its highest numbers of (reported) meth labs and other meth-related events (meth chemical dumps, anhydrous ammonia thefts) in 2003 with more than 500 events reported. That number decreased to 320 events in 2004.

How can you Help?

While out hunting, hiking, nature viewing or doing other outdoor activities, if you see what appears to be a methamphetamine lab, contact your local law enforcement agency or conservation officer immediately.

Items to watch for

Signs of a methamphetamine lab include large quantities of common household products. Used as designed, these household products are generally safe. Mixed together, they can become explosive and/or give off toxic fumes.

  • Chemicals
  • Acetone
  • Cold pill packets containing ephedrine or pseudoephedrine
  • Drain cleaner
  • Engine starter
  • Iodine Heet
  • Lithium batteries
  • Matches (red phosphorous)
  • Muriatic acid
  • Anhydrous ammonia
  • Red Devil lye
  • Salt (table or rock)
  • Sodium metal
  • Trichloroethane (gun cleaning solvent)
  • Toluene

Meth Lab Equipment

  • Aluminum foil
  • Blender Bottles
  • Cheesecloth
  • Coffee filters
  • Funnels
  • Gas can
  • Hot plate
  • Jugs
  • Paper towels
  • Propane tank/thermos
  • Pyrex dishes
  • Rubber gloves/tubing
  • Strainer
  • Tape/clamps
  • Thermometer

Meth can be easily be made from these common household chemicals and products. These ingredients are mixed and “cooked” to make this dangerous drug. The cooking process can also create potentially harmful chemical residues that can remain on household surfaces for months or years after “cooking” is over. There may be adverse health effects in people exposed to lab chemicals before, during and after the production process.

Each meth lab, spill or dump is a potential hazardous waste site, requiring assessment and remediation by experienced and qualified personnel.

The Methamphetamine Program at the Minnesota Department of Health, in conjunction with many public and private organizations, has been working to share resources, raise awareness, protect endangered children, provide technical advice for the remediation (cleaning) of meth labs, and to help Minnesota communities work together to create a strong, local response to this problem through education, training, and civil action

CLICK HERE for more information

Support Global Warming Solutions

Friday, March 2nd, 2007

Global Warming has hypothetically placed humanity on a ticking time bomb. If the vast majority of the world’s scientists are right, we have just ten years to avert a major catastrophe that could send our entire planet into a tail-spin of epic destruction involving extreme weather, floods, droughts, epidemics and killer heat waves beyond anything we have ever experienced.

I understand that Global Warming is a growing problem, but I live in Minnesota and we have had two major snow storms in 7 days. The latest storm dropped as much as 17 inches of snow in parts of the Twin Cities. In northern Minnesota, Finland got a reported 25 inches and Duluth got 18 inches.

Here was my personal wake up call this morning

I found it rather ironic when I finally made it to work this morning and sitting in my inbox was an email from the Minnesotans for Global Warming Solutions. I actually laughed out loud as I read their email discussing rising temperatures as the melting snow soaked through my boot and pants.

Consider This:

The morning News had reported that more than 350 schools and school districts reported class cancellations Friday. At the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport, operations were “pretty much back to normal” by about 9:30 a.m. Friday, a day after 400 flights were canceled. The entire area was a complete mess.

Considering all the current weather conditions, I think the Minnesotans for Global Warming Solutions marketing effort might be met with a lot of laughs.


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My Beard feels Clumpy

Tuesday, October 24th, 2006


Days till Glory: 10

I cant actually remember what or how I felt on that faraway August day when we decided to start preparing for Hunting Season, but I definitely remember how I looked. Clean, fresh, ready to take on another day in the Cube.

That Summer had been filled with the typical preperation for Deer Season like cleaning the jerky machine, freezing beef sticks and freshening scrapes with that perfect mixture of Doe Estrus and Trails End Number 307.

We had somehow decided that all the men in our crew of hunters would start growing beards on September 1st, in order to give our characters more substance and gravitas. (That quickly changed to the first Friday in August, hence my clumpy condition)

The itchy facial hair drove many of the guys in the crew insane, and there were even reports of ‘accidential’ trimming accidents in the first couple weeks. For reasons I could neither understand nor explain, I decided to keep mine for a while longer.

During those last few weeks of Autumn, my beard was a fresh and soft as crushed velvet…but as the weeks past and my beard grew messier and messier, things quickly got out of hand.

Now, it is 10 days before hunting season and I have ended up with a clumpy, burly mess.

What ever shall I do?

  1. Do I shave off the beard and enter the woods unprotected from Wind or Beast
  2. Do I ultize the beard as a second Drip by covering myself with #307
  3. Do I store my stand lunch in it?

There are several more options I am considering, yet one thing is for certain….My beard is a Clumpy Mess…