DEER HUNTING:HUNTING HUMOR & Whitetail Deer

Pope goes Bear Hunting

October 21st, 2008

The Pope took a couple of days off to visit the
rugged mountains of Alaska for some sightseeing. He
was cruising along the campground in the PopeMobile
when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge
of the woods. A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals,
shorts, a ‘Save the Whales’ hat and a ‘To Hell with
Bush’ T-shirt, was screaming while struggling
frantically and thrashing around trying to free
himself from the grasp of a 10-foot grizzly.
As the Pope watched in horror, a group of Republican
loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44
magnum into the bear’s chest. The other two reached
up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat
from the bear’s grasp. Then using long clubs, the
three loggers finished off the bear and two of them
threw it onto the bed of their truck while the other
tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the ba ck
seat.

As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over.
‘I give you my blessing for your brave actions!’ he
told them. ‘I heard there was a bitter hatred
between Republican loggers and Democratic
environmental activists but now I’ve seen with my
own eyes that this is not true.’

As the Pope drove off, one logger asked his buddies
‘Who was that guy?’

‘It was the Pope,’ another replied. ‘He’s in direct
contact with Heaven and has access to all wisdom.’

‘Well,’ the logger said, ‘he may have access to all
wisdom but he doesn’t know squat about bear hunting!
By the way, is the bait still alive, or do we need to
go back to

Massachusetts and get another one?

Tags: Sports, Shooting, Outdoors, Minnesota, Deer

Posted in Hunting, Deer Hunting Outfitters, Whitetail Deer Hunting | No Comments »

Gun control will hurt your sex life

July 1st, 2008

Top 10 reasons a gun is favored over a woman….

#10. You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

# 9. You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

# 8. If you admire a friend’s gun and tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

# 7 Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

# 6. Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

# 5. A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

# 4. Guns function normally every day of the month.

# 3. A gun doesn’t ask , ‘Do these new grips make me look fat?’

# 2. A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the number one reason a gun is favored over a woman….

# 1. YOU CAN BUY A SILENCER FOR A GUN

Tags: Minnesota, Whitetail Deer, Deer, Deer Hunting, Hunting

Posted in Hunting | 1 Comment »

Kids make me laugh

December 13th, 2007

A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won’t tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess.

The kids were eager to know what the meat was on their plates, so they begged their dad for the clue.

Well, he said, ‘It’s what mommy calls me sometimes’.

The little girl screams to her brother ‘Don’t eat it, it’s an asshole..’

Tags: Shooting, Deer Hunters, Hunting, Deer Hunting, Sports

Posted in RECIPES | 6 Comments »

Whitetail Deer gets stuck in House

August 22nd, 2007

Whitetail deer Doorbell Funny Picture, originally uploaded by DeerBeards.

Whitetail Deer Hunters can be a wierd bunch, dressing up like a pumpkin and sitting in the woods at 6 above, but this guy takes the cake.

Tags: Minnesota, Shooting, Whitetail Deer Hunting, Whitetail Deer, Outdoors

Posted in Whitetail Deer Hunting, Deer Hunters, Deer Hunting | No Comments »

Deer Hunting Stories from Minnesota

August 15th, 2007

I shot my first Deer in November of 2004. We were hunting private land in Pine County, MN and it was freezing outside. Swede and I were stand hunting and after sitting for about 2 hours in 12 degree weather, I was frozen. I hadn’t seen nor heard a thing except for the farmers donkey, when i heard that ” Snap”. I looked behind me and there was a nice 9pt just walking along, smelling the rut, without a care in the world.

I slowly turned, raised my 30.06 and fired…..CLICK! My rifle misfired, so i quickly rechambered my bolt action, raised my rifle and ClICK!…Another misfire. This happened 2 more times, before I had to completely reload my rifle. Surprising, the Deer didn’t even noticed me. It continued to slowly walk, it’s nose to the earth, completely oblivious to my frantic attempts to get my damn gun to fire.

So, now i have reloaded my rifle and sure enough, I cant see the deer anywhere. Looking through my scope, I final catch a glimspe of its tail through the woods. My first shot misses and yet the deer doesnt run. I reload and fire again….BANG and the Deer disappears.

At this point, I am crushed as I figured there was no way that I had hit the deer. I climb down from my stand and walk in the general direction of where I think the deer was standing. As I approach, I see it laying on the ground…No blood nothing…I had hit it in the spine and dropped it where it stood. The Deer never knew what hit it

Posted in Deer Hunting Outfitters, Deer, Hunting, Bow Hunting Deer, Deer Hunting Guides, Deer Hunting Equipment, Whitetail Deer Hunting, Deer Hunting Season, Deer Hunting | 3 Comments »

Free Video Games and Deer Hunting Games

May 14th, 2007

Nome, May. 14 — 2500 Free Video Games held in beta for four months were released on Sunday and should be ready for action in time for Monday’s return to work, Deerbeards.com announced, bringing cheers across a nation that had anguished over their impending workweek.

“I have a profound joy in announcing to you that all 2500+ Free Video Games have just been freed by our Developers,” Spokesman Ole GreyBeard told the upper house of Parliament as gamers erupted in applause.

DeerBeards.com spokesman Chet Norris said the video games were expected to be released last Wednesday, but he game no details regarding the delays. The games, including Big Bucks Revenge 2, were handed over for release at 10.51 p.m. last evening, said Norris

PLAY TOP 100 GAMES

Posted in Deer Hunting Games, DeerBeards, Deer Hunting | No Comments »

Deer Hunting Evolution

May 2nd, 2007

Outdoor enthusiasts are familiar with the phrase “Hunting Beard”, but much like telling camp stories of Sasquatch, no one knows when the tradition started. Through out history, hunters and mountain men have always grown and maintained flowing manes of facial hair. Fundamentally, the purpose of a hunting beard was to provide warmth and protection for the hunter. Today, a beard directly connects the hunter to their primal roots.

Hunting Beard Evolution

The evolutionary history of bearded hunting clans can be traced back for some 4 million years, as one of the oldest of all surviving mammal groups. Most paleontologists consider that these “clans” share a common ancestor with early primates and probably lived during the late Cretaceous together with the last dinosaurs. It was during this time that the oldest known Big Game Hunting Clans flourished in North America, but they were also widespread in Eurasia and Africa.

During the tropical conditions of the Paleocene and Eocene, things looked bleak for the Clans, as heat exhaustion and chaffing were major concerns. With the beginning of modern climates, marked by the formation of the first North American ice, many primates went extinct but the bearded clans survived and are known today as…THE DEERBEARDS

What is a DeerBeard?
“Deer Beards” are special for these are the beards grown by otherwise cleanly shaved men, solely for the hunting season. Unlike our bearded ancestors, modern day hunters spend far less time engaged in their favorite past-time. Scientists blame Mans transformation from “Hunter/Gatherer” to “Sitter/Sleeper” on a steady food supply, but some experts blame the invention of the “Drive Thru window”, cable and the term “WIFE”. Today, the typical hunter gathers only once a year to relive the glory of eons past.

Growing a Deer Beard affords these domesticated coach potatoes an opportunity to achieve the special bond that starvation and scurvy created in our forefathers. Shedding most modern conveniences, these hunters return to their original state of MEN! Men of the woods, men who eat jerky, cold chili and say things like “If it’s Brown, It’s Down” and “If growing a beards wrong, I don’t want to be right.”

A Deer Beard affords the common man an opportunity to connect to something special. It is the membership card into the Club of Men. It says “I take my coffee black, change my own oil and can drop a deer from 200 yards.”

Happy Hunting,

Posted in DeerBeards, Deer Hunting | No Comments »

Deer Hunting Essentials

April 5th, 2007

Deer Hunting

If hunters held a popularity contest for wild animals, the whitetail deer would win every time. Admired for its speed and jumping ability, a deer can run 40 miles per hour and leap over a fence 8 feet tall. Besides their beauty, Deer are also extremely challenging animals to hunt.

Deer move silently through the woods, constantly aware of the hunter’s presence and can disappear from sight in the blink of an eye. Deer are naturally camouflaged and their acute sense of smell is 1000 times more powerful than humans. Even the best hunter can leave the woods after 3 straight weeks, without firing a shot.

Hunting GearA few things every hunter needs are deer stand, weapon, waterproof boots, knife, tags, orange clothing, rope and a permit. There are two different types of deer stands, ladder stands, and climbers. Ladder stands are ladders with a platform on top of them chained to a tree. Climber stands are platforms with a seat that may be carried on your back and then placed usually about 4-8 feet off the ground on a tree.Waterproof boots are not essential but they come in very handy, especially since deer do not always fall down where you shoot them and may run for a few miles into the woods. Knives are essential for skinning and field dressing deer. Tags and permits are required to hunt deer legally; they may be purchased from local sporting good stores or your state’s DNR website.

Rope is necessary for dragging your deer after the kill. Adult female white-tailed deer can weigh 145 pounds, males 170. The heaviest whitetail ever recorded in the United States was a 500-pound Minnesota buck.

Hunters and environmentalist alike will agree that deer hunting is an extremely valuable wildlife conservation tool that ensures the biological success of our natural resources, while supporting the nation’s economy.

38 Million Strong, the American Hunter pours $70 billion into the economy annually–with a whopping $179 billion in ripple effect. This makes the American Hunter among the most prominent and inflectional of all demographic groups.

The American Deer Hunter, Men and women from all walks of life, doing what they love, growing the economy, helping conservation and contributing to society.

Posted in Minnesota Deer Hunting, Deer Hunting Equipment, Deer Hunters, Deer Hunting Tips, Deer Hunting | 2 Comments »

Google reveals Deer Hunting History

March 24th, 2007

Search engines like Google help people communicate, access valuable information and browse through billions of web pages more rapidly and efficiently than ever before. Search engines are the perfect combination of research assistant and historian, as they make finding useful information a breeze, yet they archive data and never forget.

The power of the search has changed our world forever and until today I would have said that almost all of the changes have been for the better. I quickly learned that Power, even power contained by a cluster can be dangerous. Everything was just fine….

Until I Discovered This!!

This blazing Orange horror scorched my eyes as my mind begged me to say it wasn’t so. I felt sick, much like a trapped rabbit with no where to run. How could it be that the original version of our web page was still alive? Why oh why oh why!!!

I understand maintaining a database of historically valuable documents or dot coms, but how can storing a site like this benefit anyone?

I understand our original desire to have a website, I just don’t remember it looking quite like this. I also vaguely recall writing:

“Join Ole GreyBeard, The Big Swede and friends on their annual journey into the wilderness. Heroes to beards and the men who grow them, these warriors eat chili, search for deer and answer the call of duty, whenever duty calls. See, Smell and Taste the Adventure! “It’s not a season, It’s a way of Life!” -

but it was much funnier when originally created!

What will my friends on Twitter blurb about me now?

Posted in DeerBeards, Deer Hunting | No Comments »

Top 10 reasons why Wives and Hunting dont Mix

March 21st, 2007

10 Do you have this in pink?
9) Does this make me look fat?
Do my nipples show?
7) I’m not touching THAT?
6) You shot Bambi!
5) But they’re so Cute
4) We should call the Kids?
3) Do you have a Blanket?
2) I’m Cold
1) I have to Pee

I hope you enjoy this post as it will most likely be the last one I make as a Married Guy

Posted in Deer Hunters, DeerBeards, Deer Hunting | 2 Comments »

Deer Hunting: Hunting Humor & Whitetail Deer

Deer Hunting Pictures

Deer Hunting News

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